Humanity's Strongest('s Hope)
by Fleur de Givre
Summary: "When you lose something, you never think there might actually come a time when you find it again." Or "Whatever could have happened in the Scouting Legion's cell."
1. Hope

Characters are not mine. Hajime Isayama owns them, the lucky boy. More chapters might be to come. Also, I'm obviously French.

Humanity's Strongest's Hope

"You're not a monster, Eren."

The voice was calm. So very calm it was almost brutal for him to hear it. He fought back the tears, just so he could look the Corporal in the eye. The harsh and bitter features – the cold, hard steal of his eyes – confused him a little. Was this man the real owner of the voice he just heard? There was no sign of comfort on his thin lips – just disapproval. Damn everything, the tears were back.

"Hey, quit being dumb. I won't be soft if you keep assuming I'm currently lying to you."

Eren tried the "Yes, Sir." reply, but nothing else than a strangled sob came out of his mouth, setting his face on fire. It took him a few minutes to finally settle down, but not a single time did Levi show the tiniest sign of impatience. He was just there, back against the wall of the cell, looking intently at the trembling teen. Waiting.

"I may not be a monster, but they see me as one, Sir."

Eren saw the Corporal's lips twitch a little in annoyance. Sure, the kid was stubborn and seemed to enjoy self-despise. Levi did not answer right away, lost in thoughts. Maybe he shouldn't tell Eren what he was about to say. Maybe he should leave him self-depreciating, since he liked it so much. Maybe the calmness in his voice was to disappoint him again.

"The only reason why they're so afraid is because you are something we've been denied for more than a century – they just don't understand how you can be here."

Green, watery orbs met his silver cold eyes, filled with incomprehension. Levi did not even let out a sigh, though Eren was acting like a complete dumbass. Right. He could waste a little more time for him.

"When you lose something, you never think there might actually come a time when you find it again. And when this time eventually comes, well – you're scared. You deny it, you fear it. Sometimes, you even hate it."

His voice sounded well too broken, but his face was still unwavering. The words were softly hitting Eren, just like fresh droplets of summer rain, washing away the dirt. He couldn't do anything but stare, in complete astonishment.

"Hope. It's been a long time since anybody's heard of it."

And with that, Levi left his support on the wall, walking toward the door. Eren was hope in so many ways, and, just like the others, he feared him, deep inside the blurry mystery of his inner self. It wasn't for his ability to turn into a Titan, no. Eren made him recover something he thought was lost and could only catch a grip on in battle.

Fire.


	2. Fire

Eren was fire, and it reminded him of himself at the same age. It overwhelmed him, and, really, he didn't know if he should be indulgent or aggressive, because he wasn't sure about what he'd rather be feeling. One part of him couldn't help but like the teen, the other was more egotistic and wanted to slap the boy's face. Hard, possibly. Somehow, he had slowly come to hate Eren's fire, his impatience, his energy, his ignorance. It was only then that he realized he didn't want to, and he knew he should have stopped himself before anger took over him. Somehow, he also knew it wasn't too late, but a strange melancholy had crawled upon his chest. Levi felt the urge to mistreat him – he wanted to make him lose hope, so he would not get the chance to be the man the Corporal failed to be.

His back was once again against the cell's wall, looking not so patiently at Eren's tear-streaked face.

"I just don't understand yet. I... I apologize, Sir."

Truly, it was still a bit early for him to assimilate everything, but Eren started feeling guilty about all the nights Levi went down to find him. It was his duty to take care of him – but it had never been said he would have to act like a nanny. He felt the pink flowers of shame blooming all over his face. Levi's stare was darker than usual, his cheeks hollow.

"What if I were to say your mother wasn't dead and was waiting upstairs? Tell me, how would you react? It'd help you understand, I guess."

Pain and shock crushed the teen's chest with violence, sending him against the headboard of his so-called bed. The moment the words left his bitter mouth, Levi knew he wasn't even going to enjoy it. Actually, he felt hurt, and cursed himself for his acerbic spite. He did not look away from Eren's shattering face, though he really wanted to. He felt weak and low for doing this to the childish features. He was craving to say sorry, to break down and say he wasn't a monster, to stop the shoulders from shivering because they were already carrying so much weight. Instead, he just watched Eren's grief, unable to make the slightest move.

"Maybe you should go back to sleep, Corporal, Sir. You don't have to worry about me. With all due respect."

Eren was hiding his face, speaking through gritted teeth. If only he would find the strength to look at him, perhaps he could catch a glimpse of remorse in his silver eyes. Levi stood still, waiting for it to happen – though it did not. With a sigh the boy didn't hear, the Corporal left the room, and anger bursted out in his veins. He banged his fist on the wall, frowning, and made it back to his own bedroom.

Sleep was harder to find than usual. Levi fought against his sheets and his thoughts, struggling to be able to get some rest. One would think it easier for a soldier of his kind to shrug the feeling of remorse off. It certainly wasn't – well, not about his later behaviour anyway. It was aberrant how a simple brat had come to hold humanity's fate in his hands, and it started to worry him. Frankly, the Corporal was more worried he would not have a positive effect on Eren. Whenever the boy had looked at him, it had been with these eyes full of faith, admiration and respect – but now? Lately, he thought he'd seen disappointment piercing more and more through these green windows – because Levi was following orders, because Levi wasn't someone you could just get along with, because Levi's attitude was more one of an asshole than of a hero.

He did not want to lose that faith, admiration and respect. Having Eren by his side gave him a new reason to fight, and he had found himself revived – even though he was hiding it well. Hell, this boy really was hope.


	3. Faith

_Warnings: spoilers if you haven't seen episode 21/read chapter 28_

Chapter 3 – Faith

He simply stood there. This time, Eren had not been awaken by any nightmare. Levi was simply standing there, watching the boy's face as he was drawn quietly into sleep, his chest rising and falling tediously. This was proof he had taken another step in assuming a soldier's life – but he would eventually step back, because there would always be someone to walk with him. In this world, you were never alone, even if you wished you were. No matter how many people you had watched die and how many you would watch die, there was no way of getting used to it. You could only learn to close your eyes, shut your mouth, and swallow all the things you wanted to throw up. This night again, Levi could not sleep – could not count on the "closed eyes" trick. As he watched over Eren's slightly shuddering eyelids, the Corporal thought about what he had said to the boy concerning his squad. He'd told him they had been chosen because they didn't trust him, but it was a lie. They had _faith _in him, they had hope. And because of that, Levi was not allowed to lose faith in Eren – he had to honour their memory, what they believed in and what they gave their life for.

"Corporal? Did I wake you up?"

The voice kicked him out of his reflections, and he glanced down at the semi-sitting silhouette on the bed, propped up on its elbows. Eren was looking at him wide-eyed. Levi let out a sigh.

"No. I just couldn't sleep so I thought I'd get down here. You know, anticipation can save your life."

The Corporal's words didn't help Eren to lose his astounded look. There was a long moment of silence before the boy opened his mouth again. The idea of going back to sleep now he knew his superior was here had been quickly dismissed.

"I'm sorry. It's once again my fault if Corporal can't sleep."

Levi frowned. Eren could say sorry as many times as he wanted to, it would not change a thing. He had told him already, but this brat was stubborn. With yet another sigh, he slowly came to sit on the edge of the bed. Eren's eyes widened – if that was possible.

"You don't have to be. You see, these men entrusted me with their very lives. And I'm not gonna betray them, this means everything they believed in will live on as long as I'm alive. In our world, it's not your existence that counts. Life is meaningless because it disappears. What really matters is what you can pass on after you're gone. They trusted you, as well, so you – you're the only person who can decide if you're gonna let them die or use what they gave you to grow stronger."

It was harsh talk, but Levi's voice had taken some kind of tender intonation. Sometimes, he could not even remember the faces of the people who'd strengthened his will to defeat the Titans and had made him _humanity's strongest_. It didn't matter to him – this was a decision he'd taken long ago.

"So, that means... You trust me?"

Eren was giving him an expectant look.

"Yes. You're the reason why they are dead, I have no choice but to trust you."

If the boy was startled by this answer, he did his best not to show it. Levi almost hit him when he suddenly put his fist where Eren's heart was, his face leaning towards his. The boy's body shivered as his eyes locked on to Levi's silver yet blazing ones.

"It's not just because I am able to kill you that they gave you to me. Maybe they're not aware of that, but I'll be the last person who'd want to do it. So many people died simply _hoping_. I made the promise I would be the vessel of the faith they left behind. This is why I trust you, Eren – because it's not only me, you're humanity's hope, and I'm humanity's strongest."

Tears hurtled down Eren's skin, but he refused to blink. Levi was still not ready to break down, but he pressed his forehead to the boy's, his free hand gripping the hair at the back of his neck to hold him there. All he wanted was to see Eren still had faith in _him_.


	4. Fear

_Warnings: major spoilers for chapter, I don't know, 51? _

_Thanks to everyone who's following these little stories, as well as for the nice reviews. Gives me confidence! Now is time for some angst, fluff an' shit. _

Chapter 4 – Fear.

His footsteps had led him to Eren. He didn't even know why, maybe it was just out of habit. Eren had been underground until now, and somehow, that always sounded strangely comforting to him despite everything. Underground. There was no daylight, no way to feel the passing of time. It was the most reassuring trap, really. It was because of these strange times when you thought you were safer in a cage than under the wild sky. Of course, he still had his dreams and he still wished to run free, to a place with no walls and no straps to tie you. Sometimes, though, even he felt the urge to hide.

That was why he stepped into Eren's room, holding his breath for some reason. The boy wasn't asleep, and he gave the Corporal a quick and single look of acknowledgment. Levi took his time to come sit on the other side of the bed. Eren didn't turn to face him, but that was fine.

"Say, Eren, who do you think I am?"

Silence greeted his question. He heard Eren fumble with the bedsheets, noticed his breathing stopped several times as if about to say something. Surely he was wondering where the hell did that come from. Even Levi felt the urge to hide, now more than never. He had forgotten the faces of all the people who died beside him, he just knew they had made his anger grow stronger and stronger. He just knew he had used their death. And if he once felt guilty, he didn't anymore – but some people still considered him as some kind of monster because of it. His squad had been replaced quickly, easily, and he wondered how Eren was seeing things.

There was also this terrible revelation about the Titans, and now fear and its dreadful smell surrounded him.

"You're Corporal Levi of the Recon Corps, someone to look up to. They call you_ Humanity's Strongest _and you're also the leader of hope – and by that, I don't only mean you're my leader."

Eren chuckled lightly at that last sentence. Levi did not. He clutched his fingers to the matress so hard his phalanges became white. When he spoke, it was through gritted teeth.

"Ah! But I killed them! So many of them you will never be able to fantasize about it! All these _people_... I killed. And I was so fucking happy, it felt so good to kill them! I was flying, I could see the sky, and I gave death like a winged butcher. It's their hope that makes me... kill them? How can that be? See, you might have been a monster from the beginning, I don't know, but you're not the only one."

Although Levi did not see it, Eren's face went from surprise to sadness. He turned to face the Corporal's back. He didn't dare to put a comforting hand on his superior's shoulder.

"No, I'm sure it's not that. They... They're not humans anymore."

"Aren't you human?"

"It's not the same!"

"Oh, really?"

Levi shifted his body suddenly, now looking Eren in the eye. He looked terrifying with that flame of rage burning inside him, mouth twisted and eyes narrowed.

"You heard what the other brat's said! His mother fucking talked to him! How can you say they're not humans anymore? How can you be so stupid? She knew it was him! So, don't give me that shit!"

He shoved him roughly and, for a moment, Eren really thought he was going to hit him. But nothing came, and Levi was just standing as if petrified, his hand left hanging in the air. Slowly, the boy sat up straight. While he was searching for anything sensible to say, he caught eye of something that frightened him even more than Levi's sudden burst of violence.

"Corporal... you... Please. You're crying."

At first, Levi didn't seem to believe it, and he raised a shaking hand to touch his cheek. Some kind of strangled growl left his throat. Now, that was unusual. But Eren was still staring, his eyes full of something the Corporal thought was really unnerving. As swiftly as the ocean's tide, anger rushed in his veins.

"When will you stop? When will you stop looking at me with those eyes?"

He was almost shouting, as if wounded, and to see Eren's eyes grow wider with incomprehension only made him furiouser. He wanted nothing more than to punch him right in his face, but he didn't.

"Can't you see it? From the begginning... We were all monsters, we all are! You don't look at a monster with those eyes!"

Levi punched the matress instead, shivering with fear and rage. Eren felt his chest tighten painfully. He had never seen the Corporal in such a state and didn't know how to react. With a faint smile, he started speaking softly.

"When I thought I was a monster, you kept telling me I wasn't. I don't know if you were actually lying or not, you just kept telling me I wasn't, and that was enough. Maybe we were wrong, maybe humanity's already lost and we're all monsters. But, even if that's true and you can't be humanity's strongest anymore, I'll still look at you as if you were. And – and if I can't be humanity's hope neither, then... Then, please, let me be your hope. Let it be me."

Levi couldn't take it anymore, and, as if moving on its own, his hand flew to slap Eren's face. The boy took the hit obediently, without blinking. He didn't flinch, his eyes locked on to Levi's ones, flashing with despair, loss and resentment. Seconds, then minutes passed, without any of them moving or talking.

"Hold me."

It came out more like a plea than like an order, and Levi struggled not to bite nervously his tongue. Eren did as he was told, tough, and awkwardly wrapped his arms round Levi's tense body. Minutes later, the Corporal eventually got closer and nestled his head against the boy's chest, irregularly rising. He wanted to feel hope stick to his skin, so he would no longer smell the stinky scent of fear on it.


	5. Despair

_Hello, dear friends! So, this took a while but here is chapter five. I think this might be where I stop, at least for now. It's surely better to wait for the manga to progress a little, otherwise I won't be getting anywhere. Thank you for the feedback, I'm really happy that you enjoyed it! _

Chapter 5 – Despair.

_Say, Eren, who do you think I am?_

Underground, there was no more time. With Eren's arms around him, holding him so easily and so faithfully he wondered if he was really humanity's strongest, Levi had lost all notion of reality. He didn't mind if he was being comforted by a fifteen year-old brat, he didn't mind the wetness that was sticking to his cheeks and to his chin. Maybe this kind of situation was normal, after all. He didn't know. He didn't want to think about it.

"You are aware that I've been using you, right?"

He felt Eren's body stiffen. Hell, everyone in town had fought to get him on their side, this shouldn't have been so shocking to hear. However, the boy held him a little tighter if that was possible. Levi could not see his face, but he would have sworn he saw him smile.

"Why should I care? I made my choice, and it is to fight for humanity's revival. That's what you want too, so I don't see where the problem is, Sir."

"You don't get it."

The Corporal didn't say anything more, though, leaving Eren clueless. Silence stretched out between their intertwined silhouettes. Some part of Levi knew there would come a time when hope would vanish, and this same part was already craving for more anger to feed on. It made him sick. It made him desperate, and despair only led to bad and twisted situations. Even as he was losing himself into hope's arms, he still felt fear deep inside his chest, and it was burning. Fire was such a strange element, both pain and pleasure. Sometimes, while watching Titan's blood on his skin evaporate, he'd wonder: "will our sorrow fade like this when we die?".

He sank his nails into Eren's shirt, feeling heat radiating from the skin underneath the fabric. He knew this warmth was not natural, but he knew that, were he about to draw blood, it wouldn't disappear so easily. Neither would regrets do.

"I wonder how much more rage I can feel, but I won't know as long as you're alive. I just know that when this day comes and you brat die, I'd certainly be invincible."

Eren shivered, and slowly shifted their positions so he could see Levi's face. If he was surprised to see there were still tears on his superior's skin, he didn't show or say anything. Levi might have been crying, he was yet wearing that same unimpressed look on his face.

"I'm happy to hear that, Sir."

The boy's cheeks were flushed, for some obscure reason. It was quite unusual to see someone so cheerful when they've just been told you were more or less looking forward to the day they die. Damn, Eren really was a special case.

"Aren't you afraid?"

The way Levi was staring made him want to look away. Awkwardly, he released the Corporal from his embrace, his hands finding support onto the matress.

"There's no need to be. You kind of swept my fears away, Sir."

"You're quite the moron, then. Now, get to sleep. Tomorrow's gonna be one hell of a day for you."

And with that, Levi stood up and walked towards the door, his body so stiff he looked wounded and old. A painful sight to see. He paused a moment, then, and Eren felt him hesitate.

"Oi, Eren."

"What is it, Sir?"

"Don't get cocky about this, but... thank you."

He heard the door shut, although Levi's voice was still everywhere in the room, filling the air and his heart. He did not smile, did not laugh or cry. He just watched as that strange kind of sadness made his breathing unbearable.


End file.
